Firebirdlifecoach's Blog

Pursuing a Passionate Life

Are you there yet? May 7, 2010

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Are you there yet?  

Most of us can recall the experience of sitting in the back seat, being a passive passenger on what seemed like an interminable car ride, anxious to get out and stretch our legs, waiting to get to our destination and unable to resist asking the driver of our vehicle once, twice or twenty times the question burning in our little heads – Are we there yet? In fact, those of us who are parents can recall several occasions when that very same question was asked of us. Getting to the destination after a long trip often seems like it is an eternity away when the question rolls through our heads over and over, no matter who is doing the asking. It is a question that my co-workers would jokingly ask one another after one of those long and grueling days at work which seemed to go on and on with no signs of ever ending. In life it seems, we are always waiting in one way or another to get THERE.

The funny thing is – unlike those long trips we may have taken as a child – the destination is often less tangible. Getting there, wherever there may be is often not so black and white. Many times the “there” is more elusive; morphing and changing so that just when you think you are at the doorstep, you realize that the roadmap has changed and the destination has now been moved down the block, around the corner or out-of-state without us realizing it. It’s like the old vaudeville routine when the unwitting character reaches down to grasp the dollar only to have it yanked a little further away by an invisible string. “Oh, I almost had it that time!”

So what do you do when your dreams and goals take on the same evasive dimension? Well, you can adjust how you see it. For one, rather than focusing on the final destination – you can allow yourself the opportunity to enjoy the ride. When I was little, I would often go on “Sunday drives” with my two aunts, and while there was always a final destination we were seeking (usually a place to stop for lunch), the joy was in the rides themselves. We would play car games as we rode along that involved taking turns “choosing” things that we liked outside the car windows. The journey itself WAS the destination and our lunch stop was just a part of the process. Allowing ourselves to enjoy the trip made for a complete experience and kept their young passenger engaged and happy over the hours long meandering through the Connecticut countryside.

Having a destination and a goal in mind helps to get us out in the car in the first place, but taking the best from each moment along the journey allows you to notice and savor all the little things along the way. Enjoy your goals, celebrate them when you arrive and then set a new goal for your next part of the journey. And most importantly, don’t forget to look out the windows and enjoy the ride, why should the enjoyment be reserved only for the final destination? Every little piece enhances and enriches the whole. Have a good trip – no matter where you are going.


The Imperfect Dance May 6, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — firebirdlifecoach @ 6:01 am
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I am a person who likes to know the facts. Tell me exactly what’s going on, what my options are and let me make an informed decision all on my own. It works for me. Likewise when I am dealing with others I operate under the same set of rules. Here’s the information – here are your options – what would you like to do? But sometimes, (actually a lot of the time) the “facts” themselves are not always clear. Life is not conveniently “black and white” there are a lot of grey areas. And in that case, I guess I function best under another general rule – “do the best you can with the information and skills you have.” What other choice is there, really?

In actuality I think, that concept applies to a lot of situations. Doing the best you can do – is really the best we can ever do in almost every given situation. Maybe it comes from the strong “work ethic” instilled in me by my father, maybe something else, likely a combination of factors. What I do know is that more than our best is not really possible. There are most definitely times when you can get away with doing “less than your best”. Some situations just don’t require our full force and effort. Reading the cues, assessing what’s needed and reserving your energy may be your best option. Having an understanding of what is required to get the job done may lead you to decide that “your best” may be overkill; there is a place for “good enough”.

Each day, at every moment we have the opportunity to decide who we are going to be in the world and how we are going to comport ourselves. Our choices are not always clear, the data we are given to make our decisions can be incomplete, but the choice is still ours. Spending a couple of moments thinking about what we value, what impact we want to have and how we want to live our lives is the least we can do to help give us direction when the situation does not provide all of the information we need. It’s an art really, a delicate balance, a constantly changing environment, in which we are dancing and moving, sometimes choosing our steps with great intention and certainty and other times, simply going with the flow. Doing what we can do, doing our best and knowing when we need to sit down and take a breather is all part of the process.