Firebirdlifecoach's Blog

Pursuing a Passionate Life

Forward Footsteps February 28, 2014

FeetHere’s an article of mine which was just featured on the Divorce Support Center website. http://divorcesupportcenter.com/

“Baby Steps” – we all know what that means, right? The small forward movements we make in our life to get us closer to where we want to be. They are as important to acknowledge as they are to take. After all, if you are making forward movement in your life but are discounting or failing to recognize those steps, how will they impact you?
You don’t need me to tell you how difficult going through the divorce process can be, if you are reading this likely you are experiencing it, firsthand. So many areas of your life are in flux – that it can be harder to recognize: “what stayed the same?” than “what has changed?” And along the way, as these changes unfold you are right in there, making adjustments, alterations and compromises as your new life is unfolding in front of you. And how do you get there? One little step at a time. Today, you unpack the clothes from your closet, tomorrow you open a new checking account, the next day you speak to your child’s teacher, and on and on and on.
Sometimes it feels like the process will never end. You’re six months, one year, two years or even more into the process, but the divorce still isn’t finalized. The reality is that even when it is – you still aren’t done, because the adjustments to your newly “single again” life are going to keep coming one after the other, too. You spend your first night alone in your home for the first time in years, your toilet needs to be fixed, you don’t know how to do it and your former spouse isn’t there to help you, your kids are adjusting to their new routine in a two household family, and you find yourself with a free night to do whatever you want to do – but have no idea what that even means anymore! But day after day you will face these changes, make decisions about what to do and not do, cry into your pillow and smile at your progress even if at times it feels like a pretty meager victory.
It takes a lot of strength and a lot of courage to get a divorce. It’s heart-wrenching and liberating, painful and affirming – and you will make it through, one step at a time. Because that’s what we do – we adapt, we evolve, we move forward – there is no other choice in the constantly changing landscape of our lives. So while you are at it – take a moment, lift your head and look around at how far you have come. Give credit where credit is due, as they say… Sometimes the best we can do on any given day is to just “show-up” for ourselves. And that can be enough, the “new normal” is just down the road a piece, and when we get there, that will change too! Life is change, and we move forward into our futures one moment and one step at a time. Envision your future, acknowledge your past and step forward into this new life – it is waiting for you.

 

Whither the Snow Flower March 13, 2013

Filed under: Uncategorized — firebirdlifecoach @ 10:31 am
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snowdrops

(I wrote this last week, before the snowstorm that dropped 20+ inches in our area arrived – but forgot to post it! Better late, than never…) March is a cruel month.  After several months of gray skies, cold temperatures and wintry precipitation – the changing of the calendar brings hope to those folks living in the Northern Temperate zones. “It’s March – yeah, we made it!” – The optimistic voices of the winter-weary exclaim as the meteorological spring begins. But alas, the reality of early spring weather – is not long, warm, sunny days with daffodils and tulips. And as the East coast and particularly the North East prepares for another snow/rain storm those happy smiles turn to frowns. The once beautiful snow – looks strangely out of place and is definitely unwelcome.

No one likes a spring snowstorm. Power outages are common, as heavy snow downs power lines and breaks branches. Clearing the heavy, wet snow is unwieldy and back-breaking by shovel and impossible by snow blower. It’s slushy and dirty and gray and even the kids who welcome snow days like surprise holidays, made just for them, start to realize that another snow day will mean the school year is just going to grow longer into the summer. But alas – this is the way it goes, spring storms are a regular occurrence and as far as I know there is still no means of controlling the weather.

But there are upsides… As the days get warmer, the piles of snow will indeed melt faster. The tired grass once exposed will get greener. And always – there are those wonderful surprises waiting under that snow. Every year, much to my wonder and amazement, though I have seen it over and over again all my life, when the snow finally recedes it unveils the early buds of real spring. Crocus, tulips, hyacinth somehow oblivious to the snow cover awaiting them above the soil have managed to break ground. Somehow, in their biological make-up – they always know that their time is near and they begin to grow, no matter how many inches of snow cover the frozen Earth. It’s wondrous!

Yes, I will be out there tomorrow, cursing the heavens as I once again clear what has become my longer and longer driveway with the passing of each year. But I will know we are nearing the end of this winter weather. I will know that under those piles of snow; lay the truly thrilling beginnings of spring. It’s only a matter of time. The days are already longer and this may be the last storm, well at least for this year anyway. Bring it on – each snowflake brings us closer to daffodils.