Firebirdlifecoach's Blog

Pursuing a Passionate Life

My Life Just Bopped Me On the Head March 30, 2010

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Ever go through one of those periods of time when you feel the like the Universe is trying to send you a message and it is pulling out all the stops to make sure you are getting it? Well, it’s been one of those weeks for me. From all frontiers I keep being reminded of the same thing over and over again. Oh the message? It’s a simple one really and I have talked about it in this forum before, but here it is: “Focus on the positive and that is what you will draw to you.” It just keeps coming up over and over again, and I can’t ignore it – so here we go…

Though at times I believe we feel stagnated in our lives – we are always growing and changing and evolving. Sometimes, the changes are more evident than others – the growth spurts of our intellectual and emotional selves. Like the child who needs new clothes every couple of months because their bodies are growing at breakneck speeds – I think sometimes we grow in bursts internally as well. This message for me and the resulting effects it is having on my thought processes and my self-concept feels like a momentous shift in my core, I am growing out of my last personal wardrobe and growing into a new one. The funny thing is, this is not a new concept for me, not something I have just recently come to believe or feel or understand but somehow this time it has a swirl of momentum about it that is impossible to ignore.

In actuality, I have had a tough week, and though I won’t list all the mishaps I have had now – I can say my luck in the last week has been on the poor side. And I don’t want to sound like I am spurting Polyanna-esque platitudes over here – but somehow I am managing to look on the bright side amidst the calamity. Oh I have had my moments over here, of feeling pretty discouraged, overwhelmed and frustrated, but my focus has been more on dealing with the obstacles before me and enjoying the abundance that is also a part of every day. Could it be that at the ripe old age of forty-eight,  I have become a “if life gives you lemons than make lemonade” kinda gal?

Awww, enough about me, what about you? As you move forward what sort of life do you want to create for yourself? How do you want to spend your energy, focused on all you don’t have or on all you want to create? Every day, every moment offers us the option of deciding how we want to approach it. We may not always have the energy and resources to be on top of our game but that does not mean we have to be on the bottom. There is a full spectrum of possibility open to us – where we land along that line is largely based on how fully we feel ourselves in control of our own destinies and how committed we are to living the lives and being the people who we want to be. There is no harm in trying, rose-colored glasses are not blinders and correcting your prescription is as easy as putting them on for a try. Go ahead, you can borrow mine.

 

Got Armor? March 9, 2010

There is a concept that we work with a lot in coaching which revolves around our “Inner Critic” or “Gremlins”. Intuitively we all know what that means. They are those voices inside our heads which are quick to chime in with their negative criticisms and self-defeating rants. None of us seem to be immune from their punishing voice, no matter how self-aware we may be. At times they are an active tribunal of punishing judges who deliver their harsh verdicts without ever giving us a chance at a fair trial and sometimes if you want to move forward you simply have to confront them.

The first step is recognizing the sound of their voice. At times it can be difficult to tease out the sound of your critic amongst the myriad of thoughts we may be having as they are masters of disguise, but it is possible. It requires a training of your inner ear to listen not just for the sound of our harshest critics but to the messages that they are spewing. If there is someone in there telling you “you can’t do it” no matter what “it” may be – likely we are on the trail of one of the little troublemakers. Adjusting your thought process to be aware of their presence is the key to vanquishing the little varmints.

How you choose to work with them is a whole other step entirely. You may use some creative visualization exercise to toss them away, or send them to bed. You may develop an inner armor to shield yourself from their negative blows. Or simply develop counter messages which you use to overpower the negative ones that they are tossing at you. Given the abstract nature of the entire conceptualization the only bounds here are those of your imagination. In my imagination the gremlins often take on the look of those “cold germs” in the pharmaceutical ads who meet their end when the subject takes whatever medication is being hawked in the advertisement. Whatever works for you, there are no limits.

The amazing thing is – that a simple mental exercise can have a pretty profound effect. Changing “the voices in your head” from those of a harsh personal critic to a supportive champion has a real impact. After all, even for those of us who are strongly impacted by those around us, we spend the most time listening to ourselves. So treat yourself with a little kindness, champion your own self and work toward recognizing and transforming the enemy within, you deserve it.