Feeling a little sluggish this morning, but puttering along getting things done in a slow and steady way. I awoke to the gentle patter of light rain, and still remarkably warm weather. Feels like early summer, which is typical, the seasons always demonstrating how they will not be bound by something as arbitrary as a calendar. Showered, fixed lunch and then took my coffee out to the porch for a bit. Came back in to write my blog and after sitting on front of my computer screen for a couple of minutes, decided back to the porch I would go, this time with my coffee and the laptop. There are two crazy, vocal cat-birds in the yard chortling and singing away in a non-stop stream of song, I believe they are “house-shopping” and despite the volume of the racket they are making I would be more than happy if they were to move in to one of the bushes in my yard.
So here I sit pondering the birds, my schedule for the day, my blog, my outfit choice and about ninety other things and I realized this will definitely not be a typical blog. Despite my efforts to light on one particular topic of note, I am afraid that like the catbirds, my mind is hopping from one branch of thought to another, unwilling and seemingly unable to pick just one. And so, as I have done on many a morning, I have decided to just write and see where it takes me, stream of consciousness, as it were. My experience is that usually as I begin my thoughts begin to gather around one idea and just flow from there, but I am not so sure today. There are times when specific focus is easier than others, but lack of focus does not necessarily mean that the intention is not directed.
These days my time is pretty structured. I have an inordinately fully schedule (which I have referenced before) beginning in the wee hours of the morning around 5:00 and often not winding-up until somewhere between 8:30 and 10:00 at night. I am not complaining, “Just statin’ the facts ma’am”. This is my choice and where I want my life to be at the moment. I have a lot on my plate and consequently need to be pretty darned focused in order to get everything done. I think at times like this, my mind is just taking a little break; it’s not so much that it is not thinking it’s just that it is resisting that focus that it has to have the majority of the time. It’s not a bad thing, well not for me anyway, (though I don’t know how it will feel to you, the reader.)
I could choose to fight it, to try to hone in on one idea, but instead my choice is to go with the flow. (Wish I could remember the expression about the tree that moves with the wind – faring better than the one that does not – but you know what I mean.) So that’s where we are, surprisingly finding a topic on which to land today and experiencing it as more like the water in the stream, fluid, flexible, responding to the obstacles in its path by simply moving around them than like the still and steady waters of a lake or a pond. Forward movement doesn’t have to be prescribed and rigid, sometimes just being there and seeing what evolves is the best way to go. Hmmm….