Firebirdlifecoach's Blog

Pursuing a Passionate Life

Fluid Focus May 3, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — firebirdlifecoach @ 6:18 am
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Feeling a little sluggish this morning, but puttering along getting things done in a slow and steady way. I awoke to the gentle patter of light rain, and still remarkably warm weather. Feels like early summer, which is typical, the seasons always demonstrating how they will not be bound by something as arbitrary as a calendar. Showered, fixed lunch and then took my coffee out to the porch for a bit. Came back in to write my blog and after sitting on front of my computer screen for a couple of minutes, decided back to the porch I would go, this time with my coffee and the laptop. There are two crazy, vocal cat-birds in the yard chortling and singing away in a non-stop stream of song, I believe they are “house-shopping” and despite the volume of the racket they are making I would be more than happy if they were to move in to one of the bushes in my yard.

So here I sit pondering the birds, my schedule for the day, my blog, my outfit choice and about ninety other things and I realized this will definitely not be a typical blog. Despite my efforts to light on one particular topic of note, I am afraid that like the catbirds, my mind is hopping from one branch of thought to another, unwilling and seemingly unable to pick just one. And so, as I have done on many a morning, I have decided to just write and see where it takes me, stream of consciousness, as it were. My experience is that usually as I begin my thoughts begin to gather around one idea and just flow from there, but I am not so sure today. There are times when specific focus is easier than others, but lack of focus does not necessarily mean that the intention is not directed.

These days my time is pretty structured. I have an inordinately fully schedule (which I have referenced before) beginning in the wee hours of the morning around 5:00 and often not winding-up until somewhere between 8:30 and 10:00 at night. I am not complaining, “Just statin’ the facts ma’am”. This is my choice and where I want my life to be at the moment.  I have a lot on my plate and consequently need to be pretty darned focused in order to get everything done. I think at times like this, my mind is just taking a little break; it’s not so much that it is not thinking it’s just that it is resisting that focus that it has to have the majority of the time. It’s not a bad thing, well not for me anyway, (though I don’t know how it will feel to you, the reader.)

I could choose to fight it, to try to hone in on one idea, but instead my choice is to go with the flow. (Wish I could remember the expression about the tree that moves with the wind – faring better than the one that does not – but you know what I mean.) So that’s where we are, surprisingly finding a topic on which to land today and experiencing it as more like the water in the stream, fluid, flexible, responding to the obstacles in its path by simply moving around them than like the still and steady waters of a lake or a pond. Forward movement doesn’t have to be prescribed and rigid, sometimes just being there and seeing what evolves is the best way to go. Hmmm….


Thoughts from a Dancin’ Fool March 29, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — firebirdlifecoach @ 6:48 am
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I am a fan of an occasional show of reckless abandon. For me it usually takes the form of dance, but I suppose there are other forums for such displays. This weekend I went to hear a great funk band from New York with a few friends and I (as expected), danced to my heart’s content. Their music just has that “great beat” that you need to get your feet a tappin’ and your body a movin’ and once the music begins I just can’t resist the urge to get up and start shaking. Whether my friends were beside me on the dance floor or not – I was happy to be up there just “doin’ my thing”.

For me, when I am dancing it is all about the beat and the movement. It is truly a “primal experience”, by which I mean there isn’t a lot of thinking going on. I am 100% in the moment, just listening and moving and smiling. And afterward, exhausted and sweaty I feel renewed and revitalized by the experience. It is a forum in which I am completely comfortable and at ease, though a lot of folks seem to experience self-consciousness while dancing, I have to say that I luckily do not. And it is just that, the experience of tapping into something without thought that I find so refreshing.

The experience of dancing allows me to do something which in other forums I have to approach in a more intentional fashion. It is the experience of being 100% in the moment, and 100% focused of the experience at hand, without thought or analysis and without effort. There are other things that allow me to be in the present for instance, it is a big part of how I prepare myself when I am getting ready for a coaching session with a client. It is part of the process that allows me to open to my intuition and to ease up on my intellect, though in these cases like many others it is a conscious shift. Dancing is a given for me, there is no prep needed. Finding the places and experiences in your life to let go and just be are little gifts with big impacts. My recommendation for the day, find the thing that allows you to just sink into the moment, and treat yourself to a little quiet time with the simplest of yourself.


The View from Here March 1, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — firebirdlifecoach @ 6:46 am
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Sometimes the little things in life bring the big things into focus. They move you out of the “here and now” and bring you face-to-face with the bigger issues. Why are you here? What are you working toward? What’s the reason for it all? Never far below the surface – the “whys” of what we are doing each day are right there giving meaning to the daily challenges and causing us to have to assess our actions. Is what we are doing on a daily basis actually aligned with our long-term goals and aspirations?

Taking in the big picture can provide clarity and direction when the little daily bits seem absurd and mundane. For those of us who are parents, life provides a whole new level of seemingly absurd tasks and responsibilities and a constant reminder of what we are working for. Something as simple as grocery shopping takes on a whole new meaning when you are bringing home food for your children rather than just taking care of your own appetite. Desires for them to grow strong and healthy, to have the proper nutrition to fuel their physical and mental needs and to feel cared for and taken care of – trump our wish to just snuggle up with a good book. (Though sometimes, giving-in to the need for a break may result in other creative alternatives to the nourishment question.) Nonetheless, our priorities become adjusted to take in our hopes and dreams for our children in addition to and beyond our own.

Sometimes the big picture can get out of focus or conflicting needs necessitate the need to prioritize our use of our resources. It is constant work, though for some it may flow more easily. I think the answers to the big questions rarely ever change but how we respond to the little everyday challenges often do. Being in alignment with the end goal can help to provide the added energy and clarity of judgment needed to get you through all of the little challenges and obstacles and provide the energy you need to wash that one more load of laundry, or do that last errand before calling it a day.


Where’s that Reset Button? January 27, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — firebirdlifecoach @ 11:06 am
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Today has been a real challenge so far and without going into detail, let me just say that it has been a rough start. What I really needed was to feel energized and not drained as I faced the list of tasks that I had hoped to carry out. Fortunately, I have been able to reset myself and though I am sure that the day will wind up being less productive than I had originally intended due to some unexpected curveballs – I am back on track with at least making the best of the time and energy I do have at the moment. This got me to thinking about what strategies we use to get ourselves back on track when life and all its myriad of possible distractions knocks us off.

I know that for me, at least this morning what got me refocused was a chat with a friend, that allowed me to vent a little bit and to re-engage my mind in a more productive way. In this case I think the reset was simply – human connection. I say simply because clearly this isn’t a profound ground-breaking concept here, and yet sometimes I think we forget the power of it. Being able to connect with another person, share in that empathy and understanding – combined with a mutual concern for one another’s well-being was the magic bullet. Additionally, I think that HOW you approach the solution is just as crucial.  I was open to the being reset and was not invested in staying in the negative space I was in. I may not have been able to control all the events that made my morning feel so stressful – but I was able to control how I let it affect me. (This leads me to another topic which I have thought about a lot – locus of control – but I will get to that in another blog.)

In any case sometimes having a friend to talk to isn’t an option and even if it is, coming up with ways to clear our own heads and refocus ourselves is an almost indispensible need. So, what are your strategies for resetting yourself? When you are feeling the weight of life’s stressors how do get yourself back to calm? The temptation here is to list off a myriad of possible suggestions, and maybe that would be useful to some extent, but I believe it is a primarily an individual process, and what would work for you might not be found on my list of options. Nonetheless, just as there is a value in knowing what your resources are in other arenas of your life, taking time to access those internal resources is just as valuable. So, make a list, go ahead, and think about what buttons you need to push when clearly the situation calls for a reset.