Firebirdlifecoach's Blog

Pursuing a Passionate Life

Lessons from Flowers March 18, 2014

Filed under: Uncategorized — firebirdlifecoach @ 11:26 am
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Hanging Flowers (I promise that someday soon – I will once again post a blog, that is just that… a blog. But since lately I have been pre-occupied with various other projects – I thought I would once again share an article that I wrote a while ago for the The Divorce Support Center about resilience, personal agency and self-care which has just been published and featured on their home page. It is relevant for all of us, I think – no matter what our marital status is!)

About an hour ago, I stepped out onto my porch to see two very sad looking hanging baskets. Vines drooping, flower heads sadly bent toward the ground and leaves folding in on themselves – all combined in one plaintive and unmistakable plea, “Water, please!” So, I obliged, as I always do, except for on the days that I forget, like yesterday, apparently… An hour or so later, when I went back outside to add an empty bottle to the recycling bin, I looked up to see my floral friends: refreshed and rejuvenated. This got me to thinking… Wouldn’t it be nice if people could “perk up” as quickly and easily as a freshly watered flower?

Life is hard. Stress abounds. And that is especially true when you are going through a divorce. There simply is so much to deal with on top of the needs and responsibilities of just regular old everyday life – that it is no wonder that some days we just end up feeling wilted and defeated. While it would be nice to wish for days of endless sunshine, plentiful water and the proper nutrients needed for continual and blissful growth, the reality is that sometimes the sun doesn’t shine, the rain doesn’t fall and the nutrients become depleted. So what’s a plant or a person to do?

Luckily, unlike plants whose personal agency is severely limited by nature and the sometimes faulty memories of our caretakers – as people we have much greater control. So the question is what can you put in your own metaphorical watering can on those days when you are feeling a little wilted? Each of us will answer that question differently, wouldn’t we? For some it could be an extra hour in bed, while others might choose to awaken early to have enough time for the gym or a brisk walk before work. Some might pick-up the phone and call a friend while others might take out their journal, pour a cup of tea and snuggle up in a comfy chair to work through their thoughts and feelings on paper. Maybe you want to do a little meditation to clear your mind or head out to hear some live music and dance so much that your negative feelings are left somewhere underfoot on the dance floor. The options are as infinite as each of us is unique. But the common denominator, is taking the time to reflect on what we need a bit and to give ourselves the nurturing that’s required.

The solutions may not be as simple as sunshine, water and nutrients – but that’s really more of a blessing than a curse. So fill that watering can and keep it close because, “You in full bloom – is a beautiful thing!”

 

Making the Space November 9, 2013

Filed under: Uncategorized — firebirdlifecoach @ 5:02 pm
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G4Currently, the majority of my waking hours have been spent trying to gear-up for one big event that will be happening a week from now. And though my days are full with the full spectrum of “life stuff” – the majority of my time these last few weeks have been focused on tasks and projects for the Natural Living Expo where I will be both an exhibitor and a presenter next week. I am excited that it is close at hand and that soon I will be out of preparation mode and into doing mode. I am almost done with just a few little loose ends to tie up. Yay!

I won’t drag you through the list of projects I have been consumed with – but let it suffice to say that there was a smattering of everything; designing, writing, planning, coordinating, budgeting, practicing, scheduling, etc. etc. etc. And while the rest of my life has been equally busy, with home and work, this one effort has had most of my attention.

So yesterday, when I realized that I had completely forgotten to write a blog post for Thursday, I was not really that surprised, though I was a bit sad about it. And then when, yesterday became enwrapped with other activities, I missed that post, too. So, today, despite the fact that I am feeling exhausted, and not like I have a whole lot to say, I wanted to make sure that I found at least a small window of time to write. After all, I think that’s really what the whole NaBloPoMo and NaNoWriMo thing is all about, isn’t it? At its most fundamental level it is about making the time in your life, to write (either a blog – in the former case, or a novel – in the latter).

I don’t know what motivates all writers – but I would hazard a guess that for most of us, this is more than just a simple desire, it is a need. If I don’t write, it feels like something is missing for me. Though lately, I have found many forums in which to exercise this need, my blog had become neglected, and the challenge that NaBloPoMo presented offered me an excuse to re-invigorate it. And though I feel like, I am just exercising my creaky old bones at this point; I am starting to get the hang of it again.

So much of the time, so many things come down to us simply needing to make the room in our lives for the things we love; the things that make us feel whole, the things that bring us joy, the things that make us – us. I know this lesson, but I still forget at times. While I am enjoying all of the projects I am working on and feel most sincerely fortunate that I am positively rewarded by so much of what I do – it’s important to make room for a diversity of experience at times. Today, I made the space. I hope you too find a moment or several to do something that speaks to your needs and desires as this little respite has for me.

Until tomorrow… (She says, knocking on wood!)