Firebirdlifecoach's Blog

Pursuing a Passionate Life

Notes to Self December 29, 2011

As I sat down to write this blog – and searched for the words to begin – one phrase kept coming into mind, “Bless me father for I have sinned, it has been three weeks since my last blog posting.” (Apparently some things stay with a person no matter how long ago they have become obsolete.) But this post is really not about religion, Catholicism or sin – rather it’s about the promises we make to ourselves and what happens when we break them. In a few short days I will hit my two-year anniversary as a blog writer and that makes me feel pretty good. Over the course of two years I have written about 150 posts – or approximately one every five days or so. Not bad really when you look at it that way – though there is part of me that wishes the number was more like one every other day.

When I set-out on this little journey I endeavored to write a blog every day – and I did – for about a month or so. Inspired by the prolific, cleverness of Seth Godin ( http://sethgodin.typepad.com/) – I started out “all fired up and ready to go”. For a while I set my alarm for 5:00 am, as I found that the morning was my best time to write, and even though on some days I wasn’t sure what I would “talk” about – I somehow managed to get something out. And I loved it! Though I would not have described myself as a “writer” I could safely say that I always enjoyed writing and spending some time composing a blog each day was a centering and rewarding experience. But after a month or so – daily entries started to feel like way more than I was willing to commit to. Some days I just didn’t have anything to say – and/or I just couldn’t manage to “get up and at it” as I had been doing. So the writing started to drop off and at some point even had dwindled to one post every couple of months.

And this – did not sit well. Because almost every day – whether I wrote or not – I would think about writing. Sometimes I would jot down ideas, only to never get around to fleshing them out, other days I would plan writing time, only to find that other demands would get in the way. Many times, I would start a post – and then get distracted by something and end up never finishing it. There is a stream of consciousness and immediacy about this for me – which makes finishing a partially written post almost impossible. In fact, I started a post about two and a half weeks ago – which was mostly written, but not finished – and for the last couple of weeks I have revisited it many times – but just haven’t been able to finish and post it – it is still languishing in my drafts folder.

So, where the heck am I going with all this anyway? I guess, I just want to say – that writing this blog is something I am committed to doing. Though delusions of grandeur have me hoping that my words will resonate with and inspire the reader, I know that there are times when likely no one will read these posts besides me. And though I would prefer if they were “spread around” and I was connecting with others through these posts – I know that is only one of the reasons I am writing here. Simply – I need to do this for me, it makes me happy. Would I prefer to have the consistent proliferation of a daily blog – “yeah, maybe”. Would I at the very least like to post every couple of days – ” I would”. Will I continue to write here and there even if weeks and months occasionally separate the postings – “yep”. Because when I think about it – the promise I make to myself here – is to keep writing – it isn’t about the frequency and volumeof posts, or even about the number of people who read it – it is about the experience and doing something I love.

Sure I could choose to “beat myself up” for not writing more frequently – but I seriously doubt that it would have any positive effect. Rather I shall choose to celebrate my two-year blogging birthday and my commitment to continuing to do this thing that I find so rewarding. And I hope that others will read these words, share them with others, and most of all walk away wuth the message – to be gentle with yourself and support yourself in that which makes you feel good. It is not “lowering the bar” it is “opening the door”. Come out, come out wherever you are…

 

Breakfast is Served July 9, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — firebirdlifecoach @ 7:19 am
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Time has gotten away from me, and along with it – writing blog entries. What began as a daily practice has faded into almost complete non-existence. Too many demands for my attention have effectively obliterated my hopes for making blog writing a regular and consistent part of my daily routine. At this point, I would be happy to write one a week – and I am quite unsure if this little musing will actually attain “post” status, but maybe…

Writing makes me happy, and I miss it. A year ago, starting my day with a cup of coffee and the keyboard started my day with a sense of personal accomplishment and purpose, whether the writings themselves held any great insight or not – there was a peacefulness that came with both the experience of writing and the knowledge that I had done it.  A relatively simple exercise that fed my mind and soul. How is it that something that can feel so good – can slip off the boards and into non-existence? In many ways I have more time in my life now than I did then, so what’s stopping me?

There are a lot of things like that in life, aren’t there? A lot of little self-nurturing activities that somehow lose their status in the priority of our daily lives and drop away. Maybe it’s time to work them back  in. Afterall, we have this one shot at this life business, if we spend our time filling our moments with things we “have to do” and meaningless time-munching nothing – then we are missing out on simple opportunities for enhancement that feeds rather than drains us. I prefer a hearty breakfast and today is as good a day as any to take a moment to serve one up. What’s on your plate?

 

The Squeeze August 2, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — firebirdlifecoach @ 6:36 am
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My schedule as it is, the best time always for me to write my blog, seems to be first thing in the morning. My usual pattern was to wake early, fix my coffee or tea, take my laptop out to the porch and start typing before beginning my other daily activities. However, lately, I have just not been able to swing it. The arrival on my schedule of two early morning appointments and what has become a daily battle with my snooze alarm have prevented me from finding the time in these early morning hours to get to writing. I don’t like it. But I am forever hopeful…

So here I sit, brain still a bit foggy, with few minutes left to devote to this task. As I type, I am busily strategizing a new system, for both waking early and for writing these blogs but nothing concrete has yet risen to the surface. I am pondering the blog of Seth Godin, and his ability to encapsulate a brilliant idea in two-three sentences and wishing I had his gift for streamlining my thoughts. But I will work with what I do have, do the best I can, and hope for a good result.

I do believe in the old adage – “where there’s a will, there’s a way” so I shall push forward in hopes that I can catch up with my own desires and get this piece, which is truly important to me, back up and running. So for now, you get this, just a small sample of my mental meanderings and the ever-present will to share my experience in this small form with you. May you find the time in your day today to do not just those things that you have to do, but those that you want to do, the things that make you feel whole and centered, refreshed and renewed, even if you can only squeeze them in for little bits of time.

 

Return of the Prodigal Blogger July 8, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — firebirdlifecoach @ 6:17 am
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I don’t want to write another blog about writing a blog – but I’m afraid every time I sit down to start writing that’s what comes to the fore. I guess it just feels funny to me to post an entry after having taken a couple of weeks away from the blogging world without acknowledging that absence. And believe me, not a day passed in between when I didn’t at least think about writing, though on many occasions I had started entries but never finished them. I have given this whole thing a lot of thought and have been trying to figure out what it is I want to and am willing to commit to with regard to the regularity of my postings and I am still undecided.

Ideally I would be posting something every morning (weekday mornings that is, given I decided several months ago that giving myself the weekend off was a good thing.) Though for a while there – posting three entries per week also felt satisfactory. But lately my presence has been more like absence and I for one am not satisfied with that situation. And despite what this may sound like, I am not giving myself a hard time about it. We all have only so much energy and lately with my schedule as it is I have needed to focus it elsewhere. That said – I miss the writing – this forum has provided a great outlet for my musings, I get a lot from it and do not want to let it go altogether. I don’t want it to be an abandoned hobby in my storage room but a regular part of my life.

So as I sit here writing about this issue, here’s what occurs to me regarding how I want to approach this frequency of posting issue. I guess, I have decided that like so many other things, my best approach is a fluid one. Rather than force myself to conform to a rigid schedule, I will simply allow myself to post as frequently as my time and energy allow. Maybe I will get back to daily postings at some point, maybe it will be three times a week or once – and whatever it is will be enough. I know this is something I want to be a regular part of my life but forcing it to become a responsibility and a chore will do nothing to enhance either the pleasure of the experience or the quality of efforts.

If you want to make sure you don’t miss anything – then feel free to subscribe to it – so you will get email updates. If you want to check back in periodically to see if you’ve missed anything then that’s fine, too, that choice is yours. For my part, I am committing to still doing writing these posts for myself and for anyone out there who enjoys reading them. To that end I also commit to the ideal of writing as frequently as I am able – balancing the writing with the other demands for my time and attention.  To some this may sound like a cop-out, to me it is anything but. Every day we each have to consider where and how we will focus our time; balancing our work, families, responsibilities, pleasures and commitments. It never ends. How we choose to find that balance is an individual decision, and allowing ourselves to trust our judgment as to what is best is our responsibility to ourselves and those around us. “So, you all come back now – ya hear…”

 

Allowing for Flexibility April 19, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — firebirdlifecoach @ 6:07 am
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Good Morning Out There… I feel like it has been a while since my last entry (and my last confession), and in actuality it has been longer than usual. These last couple of weeks have been particularly challenging for me with regard to getting these blogs out every day (every, weekday that is.) I believe it is a combination of things all conspiring to make this more difficult than usual; a grueling schedule, a touch of writer’s block and just overall exhaustion. And I don’t know about the rest of you, but I have felt something missing. A few months ago when I started to write these blogs, I began with a seven-day-a-week regimen, which bumped down to five-days-a-week within the first month or so. And with a couple of exceptions I have indeed kept to posting a blog each weekday ever since. That is until these last couple of weeks when I have struggled to post three blogs.

That doesn’t mean I haven’t sat in front of this computer each day and attempted to write something. My “work-in-progress” folder is full of half-written pieces and jotted down ideas, but getting to the finish line has been more complicated than usual lately. So the result is that I am thinking a lot about this “exercise”; what it means to me, why I am doing it and whether or not it even matters to anyone else that my production level has dropped off a bit. (Total aside: Joe Strummer and the Mescaleros, “Johnny Appleseed” is playing on http://www.radioparadise.com in the background, I haven’t heard this song in a long time, and I do love it.) What I have decided is that despite the fact that I have no real idea about how this is impacting anyone else out there, it is important to me and at least at this point I am not willing to let it evaporate.

It has given me a great amount of satisfaction to just have a forum for writing regularly again; I didn’t realize how much I missed it until I began this blog. It has also made me more conscious of my thought processes through the day. Not that I was not aware of all the ideas I have, but noticing things, thinking about how I would write about them, what points I would want to make, and overall just fleshing them out a bit more than I probably would have has been very gratifying.  I also believe that there is more than a little bit of “pride” involved in sticking with this process for me. And while all this is true – my plate is full right now schedule-wise and I have decided that if I need a little more latitude here I need to take it. I don’t believe it serves anyone to stick to an arbitrary, self-imposed regimen if it is going to have a negative impact on other areas of my life. So what I guess I am trying to say here is this is my plan… I shall endeavor to do the “best that I can” because really what more do I have to offer. I will aim to keep to my schedule of writing a blog for each weekday and if sometimes I miss one (or even two) I am doing it for a reason that makes sense for me in the overall scheme of things. I just felt like I wanted you – whoever you are – to know that.

Having a goal is a worthy thing, and doing your best to get there is all that you can do, but along the way it is important to recognize your limitations and to allow yourself the flexibility to adjust the plan on your way.

 

I am here… April 9, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — firebirdlifecoach @ 6:30 am
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This has been a tough week for me with regard to writing my blogs, and I am not thrilled about it. Earlier in the week, unexpected changes in my schedule made it too difficult to find the time to sit down and when I did make the time my mind was unable to find a topic that I could stick with long enough to get my ideas down on “paper”. Today seems to be another one of those days. I have been sitting in front of this computer (on and off) for two hours already, starting blogs, adding to ones I have already begun and just not feeling satisfied with any one particular direction. All the same having missed two days this week already, I did not want to miss another one entirely.

It’s not for a lack of topics that I have found writing so difficult this week. There are a lot of things on my mind that I would like to explore a bit but I am having a difficult time fleshing out those ideas in a way that fits with my blog. So, it looks like today will not produce anything substantial. And as I sit here absorbing that reality, ever-aware that I have to get my day going in other directions, one thing stands out for me – “sometimes the best that you can do is to show-up.” Not every day in our lives is going to be exciting, not every thought in our heads is worth sharing, and sometimes just being present is enough. Today I acknowledge that the best I can do, at least at the moment, is to be here. I do not know what the next moment will bring – but for now there is just the simple acknowledgment of my desire to move forward with this “blog project” and temporary pause in a more substantive input. Here’s wishing you the best of whatever your day turns out to be…